I am attempting to be smart again by dwelling in the walls of the Fergus Falls Public Library. There are the usual Fergus Falls "lifers" in the back, men wearing day loafers and legs crossed while reading the Fargo Forum or The Daily Journal. In the front there is a small, curly haired girl, not old enough for school, but old enough to pick out her favorite Dr. Seuss book.
Admittingly, as soon as I sat on this rusted orange chair in a little cubby, I felt important. Like creativity and intelligence was going to pour out of my hands like a river bound by a beaver's dam. I am craving for something to inhale, to consume that will make me feel challenged again.
These shelves contain brilliance that I cannot fathom, and maybe even some I can. Of writing techniques and portraits of words that I could only pray to possess.
On my way to town today, a saying I grew up knowing but had previously abandoned for a Minneapolis life, I switched my saved radio dials. All my City stations were burnt in my Camry's memory. I had grown use to only hopping in a car for a couple minutes to get my craved Jamba Juice or DQ Blizzard, now it is a "trip to town."
As I surfed through the radio options, I felt forlorn.
I told Ashley, one of my three friends by the name of Ashley, that I still haven't fallen into the realization that I am here to stay. I keep thinking, "I need to return that jacket when I get back," or "I should go to Kohls and pick out a new frame for that picture of Tyler when I get home." My life revolved around the convience of having everything at your fingertips. And now....well, now it is different.
I have a job here. I think I will like it considerly more than nannying. Although the hours and pay aren't as ideal, I feel like I am making an even greater impact with my life. It is a different breed of people here. People are gentler, kinder, maybe even wiser. They are more attuned with their lives and their purposes, something I missed while in the City.
But at the same time, that is why I liked Minneapolis. I liked being a bit different than others, maybe being so out of my element there that people took notice and wondered. Most of my friends in the City didn't totally understand me, and rightly so.
But here I am. Significantly calmer and at peace with life than my previous entries. Maybe a bit sad that my city life is through, but thrilled with adventure to wonder what God is going to do with a city-country girl back in the country.
In a previous blog I noted that God may not change me, but my circumstances. Little did I know that that was the beginning of a prophecy. He did change my circumstances. The funny thing is, though, that I think He is changing me after He changed my circumstances.
Admittingly, as soon as I sat on this rusted orange chair in a little cubby, I felt important. Like creativity and intelligence was going to pour out of my hands like a river bound by a beaver's dam. I am craving for something to inhale, to consume that will make me feel challenged again.
These shelves contain brilliance that I cannot fathom, and maybe even some I can. Of writing techniques and portraits of words that I could only pray to possess.
On my way to town today, a saying I grew up knowing but had previously abandoned for a Minneapolis life, I switched my saved radio dials. All my City stations were burnt in my Camry's memory. I had grown use to only hopping in a car for a couple minutes to get my craved Jamba Juice or DQ Blizzard, now it is a "trip to town."
As I surfed through the radio options, I felt forlorn.
I told Ashley, one of my three friends by the name of Ashley, that I still haven't fallen into the realization that I am here to stay. I keep thinking, "I need to return that jacket when I get back," or "I should go to Kohls and pick out a new frame for that picture of Tyler when I get home." My life revolved around the convience of having everything at your fingertips. And now....well, now it is different.
I have a job here. I think I will like it considerly more than nannying. Although the hours and pay aren't as ideal, I feel like I am making an even greater impact with my life. It is a different breed of people here. People are gentler, kinder, maybe even wiser. They are more attuned with their lives and their purposes, something I missed while in the City.
But at the same time, that is why I liked Minneapolis. I liked being a bit different than others, maybe being so out of my element there that people took notice and wondered. Most of my friends in the City didn't totally understand me, and rightly so.
But here I am. Significantly calmer and at peace with life than my previous entries. Maybe a bit sad that my city life is through, but thrilled with adventure to wonder what God is going to do with a city-country girl back in the country.
In a previous blog I noted that God may not change me, but my circumstances. Little did I know that that was the beginning of a prophecy. He did change my circumstances. The funny thing is, though, that I think He is changing me after He changed my circumstances.
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