The Follies of RISK

I remember being goo-goo with Tyler. I would count the days, the hours, the minutes when I would see him, when we would meet in Little Falls, Alexandria, Albany, Saint Cloud, or even in Ottertail. I would try on four different outfits, examining each view, spend forty-five minutes on my hair, and be sure to have everything planned for our day together.

How things have changed.

Some of my friends say I am a poor advertiser for marriage. I don’t think so. I just think I am honest. Our first year was hard for me. Tyler may disagree, but for me, it was a challenge. It was hard to learn to keep my mouth shut when I knew I should and it was hard for me to encourage when all I wanted to do was criticize. It was easier to point out his pitfalls and ever increasing failures instead of praising him for his successes and trying and consistent love.

Even as I type this, we are amid a fight. Why am I writing and not apologizing, because he needs to cool down and I need to collect some loving words.

We played RISK. It proved to be quite entertaining at first, until frustrations boiled into arguing and crankiness and just quitting the game. Competitiveness seems to kill harmony. I quit, he wanted to finish. Who was right – I don’t quite know. All I know was that I need to get out of the heat before it turned to a wildfire.

The more I understand marriage, the more precious it seems. Even in the aggravation of this disagreement, I cannot but feel blessed to have Tyler. We may still fight, but our fights always result in love and better communication and understanding of each other.

To say marriage is beautiful is an underestimation. The goo-goo feelings are still there, but most of them have been exchanged for mature, uncompromising compassion and desire for each other. He is my One. He is my Only. He is my best friend and my companion. It will not matter what surges between us, love is still there.

I think I have collected enough warmth within that I can crawl into his office and kiss him and say I’m sorry. The best way to fight the devil’s foothold is to fight it with love…and that is exactly what I’ll do.