The Beginning and the End

I have started making "Ellies." They are my simplified version of a Raggedy Ann. My grandma, Heyma, is known to have made hundreds of Raggedy Anns and Andys and giving them to children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, friends, neighbors, and even children in missions.

Last week, I purchased a doll pattern that was named "Billie Anne." I tweaked it a bit and started calling them my Ellie Anns because Heyma's name is Eleanor. They are significantly smaller and take very little effort compared to the complexity of Heyma's Raggedies.

As I started to sew her small arms and small legs, I felt nothing. In fact, I wasn't so sure what I thought about this effort for a doll that would probably turn out mediocre. But once I started to turn out my sewn together fabrics of her arms, legs, and even trunk, my attitude started to change.

As I stuffed polyfill in her and saw her form take shape, I felt an unusual sense of love for this stuffed creature. Realizing she was purely fabric, string, and some stuffing, yet I had some significant connection to this thing.

A scripture kept circling in my head, but the verses that were coming were not what you would expect (Psalm 139). Instead, John 14 kept surfacing, "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

The passion and excitement God takes in creating each human life never ends. In fact, it is swollen to such an extent that He WAITS EAGERLY for us to join Him in heaven in a glorious dwelling He is creating for us.

This is our God. This is our Father. This is His tenderness.

Ellie is currently sitting on my rocking chair next a pumpkin, staring with her small green eyes and deep red hair. Her smile isn't perfect and her nose stitching may be slightly knotted, but for some reason, she is perfect. And even though she is just cloth, I kinda like her. And even though I am just dust, I know God kinda likes me too...well, more like obsessively loves me.